I Can Fix Me, No Really I Can

“Life gets easier when you don’t blame other people and focus on what you can control.” James Clear

This quote can be bit hard to swallow if you were secretly hoping the world might just change for you while you sit there muttering about how unfair it all is.

Let’s face it: blaming is easy. It is fast food for the frustrated. It requires no self-reflection, zero learning, and leaves you with the short-term satisfaction of “not my fault” without any of the nourishment of growth. Delicious, but empty.

And that is where coaching comes in.

Coaching is not about cheerleading from the sidelines or telling you everything will be OK if you just manifest it hard enough. It is about turning the mirror ever so slightly back onto yourself—not in a brutal, judgemental way, but with curiosity and honesty. It is a gentle, firm nudge towards asking: “What can I do here?” rather than “Why is this happening to me?”

In coaching conversations, we talk about ownership. Not in a corporate land-grabbing way, but in the this is my life, and I get to steer it kind of way. We explore what is in your control (hint: your actions, your thoughts, your reactions), and what is not (other people’s behaviour, the weather,  or why the internet only ever buffers during the good bit of a film.)

No one is saying it is easy. In fact, the first time you realise that you have been stuck in a pattern of blame or avoidance, it can feel pretty uncomfortable. Like finding out your favourite TV show is being rebooted badly (Charmed - should have been left alone!) But just like a good plot twist, that discomfort is the beginning of something better. That is the point where you get to rewrite your story—without waiting for someone else to give you a better script.

And the rewards? Clarity. Confidence. Choices that feel intentional, not reactive. Breakthroughs that feel hard-won and well-earned. You get to stop dragging around the heavy suitcase of “it’s not fair” and start packing lighter with “what can I do now?”

So yes, life really does get easier when you stop blaming and start owning. Coaching does not promise to fix everything, but it will help you find the tools, the thinking space, and the mindset to take charge of the things that truly matter: your thoughts, your choices, your life.

And who knows? You might even find that in the process of owning it all, you become the very person you have been waiting for.